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The Trouble with Hank
from The Reeducation
of a Turd Peddler
by John Henry Peabody
Writing
called upon a part of my brain
that might not even exist.
IM HAVING A LOT OF
trouble writing the story.
For three months, Ive met with tribal elders, common
folk, pure bloods, mestizos, Yankees and flat landers. I got all the
names, pinned up of all kinds of events on sheets of paper tacked to
two different walls, taken god knows how many notes gone over umpteen
million times and I still I cant seem to pull it off.
I may not be a writer. At least not a good one.
It was beginning to look like A Trip Down 101
or Favorite Trails of The Central Coast, Vol. One was about
all I might hope to pull off. The great novelist turned to caption writerI
suppose I could accept that.
I suppose.
My thesis was hard enough. No one had ever done that: Coprolite
Densities of Central Coast Indians: A Tactile Comparison? Come
onmost people were looking at arrowheads and baskets, cave paintings,
bone tools and shamans charmstones. They wanted the romantic stuff,
the spiritual stuff, the stuff that put deceased natives in the realm
of ET and Merlin the Magician. To some people it didnt matter
that moderns put men on the moon or built electron microscopes. They
all wanted to know what secret knowledge jacked up Native Americans
had while making cave paintings, high on datura. Nobody wanted to spend
time with terds dropped in Malibu a thousand years ago. Leave it to
me to establish a field that itemized, categorized, accessorized and
glossarized shit no one wanted to pay attention to.
And writing it all up called upon a part of my brain that
might not even exist.
That was when Janet came in
and saved me. I hadnt realized she was such a good writer. Like
most people, though, I hadnt realized that as a lawyer she passed
the bar exam. You have to be able to write well to pass the bar. Thats
why lawyers are, for the most part, good writers. As for the rest of
usa crapshoot, really.
You think that if you had a good education, a Bachelors,
Masters, even a Ph.D., you could write. But thats not true.
John Cheever didnt have any of that. Sam Shepard didnt have
any of that. Emily Dickinson didnt have that. Being a good writer
demanded a bit of the savant in a person. It demanded a talent that
might even be based on a lack of education. But what did I know? I knew
shitha habut I didnt know, it seemed, shit about writing.
I looked at the stack of post-it notes that had passed for
my book project the last three months and figured, at the least, I was
leaving behind something my biographers could piece together.
Let them figure it out. They might know how to write.
Visit
other links where Hank may have had some success writing:
Chapter
1 of The Reeducation of a Turd Peddler
Chapter 2
"Walking Through the Festival"
plus
Ward Craven, Star of TV's "Skipper!"
Chapter 3
"Janet's Story"
Chapter 4
"Drinks at the Rusty Pelican"
Chapter 5-ish
The Story of Darby Hipper
Sean
Heaney, "The Pelican Man"
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